Friday, May 21, 2004 - 4:00 p.m.PDT The following log has been modestly edited to remove technical and procedural distractions and rearrange some discourse in a less random order to make it more easily readable. In attendance: Noel McInnis. Mary Dee Snow Mary Dee Snow enters the chat room Hello Noel Noel McInnis Hi, Mary Dee Mary Dee Snow I never did this before this is interesting Noel McInnis What's on your mind today, forgiveness-wise? Mary Dee Snow i don't relly know but all of a sudden I knew I better sign on. Noel McInnis What are you finding most interesting, useful, etc. in the course thus far? Mary Dee Snow I am a one finger typist Noel McInnis I'm a two-finger typist (with an occasional third-finger assist). Noel McInnis The original digital communication system. Mary Dee Snow well when I first started i didnot really know what i wanted to forgive now i am realizing the issue(s) at hand are deep core soul stuff Noel McInnis Such as . . . (if I may be so bold as to ask)? Mary Dee Snow not too bold , no. deals with acceptance of myself and worthiness of the time of others. Noel McInnis Ah, the old "am I worth it?" skepticism . . . Mary Dee Snow I am ultra sensative can only trace it back to my upbringing Mary Dee Snow I am not angry with anyone but myself on this issue. Mary Dee Snow Skeptic that is me Noel McInnis When you can experience your sensitivity as just that - your sensitivity - without focussing your attention on the occasion of your sensitivity, you are well on the road to forgiveness. Noel McInnis That which triggers my sensitivity is merely by my projected self-absorption (a la ACIM's teaching). Mary Dee Snow so I am too self absorbed. Geez I would have never thought that Noel McInnis Let's just say that we all tend to be self-absorbed, and that some of us take it farther than others. Mary Dee Snow Geez I would have never thought that Noel McInnis The moment you do think of that, and begin to act on that thought, you're on the path of transformation. Mary Dee Snow So how do i change that, ask to see myself differently Mary Dee Snow meaning not change the transformation but move Noel McInnis Just ask yourself, "What is a less sensitive way to see this (i.e., whatever has triggered your sensitivity). Notice I didn't say INsensitive, because that doesn't work either. Mary Dee Snow ok its the dialog with spirit Noel McInnis Yes, Mary Dee, dialog with spirit. Mary Dee Snow you know the readings have gotten me to understand the difficulty with achieving forgiveness Noel McInnis And in your understanding, what is the difficulty? Mary Dee Snow Feeling it or truly experiencing forgiveness Noel McInnis So you understand that forgiveness is experienced as a feeling, not as a thought? Noel McInnis As a change of feeling, actually. Mary Dee Snow Yes and it is the mental models that are strong and deeply rooted in my psyche I guess ego that overrides the change of feeling Noel McInnis What does it take to allow the change in feeling? Mary Dee Snow The only thing i have come up with is ACIM and ask to see things differently and know the direction I am to go in will happen Mary Dee Snow I admit I am a beginner at for giveness but I'm all over like white on rice Mary Dee Snow someday i'll be teaching it from a feeling place Noel McInnis That's an excellent place to start. First, recognize that your sensitivity is within you. not in the circumstance or person that triggered it. Secondly, ask how you may see the person or circumstance more calmly? Thirdly, allow for the possibility that the alternative perceptions are possibly as valid as your sensitive one. Mary Dee Snow That's a good plan I can handle that Noel McInnis Sure you can. Mary Dee Snow Hey i am researching the forgiveness area and are you involved in any aspects out there Noel McInnis The very fact of raising the question and considering it is immediately de-toxifying of your over-sensitivity. Mary Dee Snow How so? Noel McInnis All of my forgiveness re-search is "in here". Virtually everything I know forgiveness-wise (as opposed to knowing ABOUT forgiveness) is the consequence of introspective re-search of my own perceptual process. I have actually learned how to monitor the way my perceptions work, and how to make them over mindfully. Noel McInnis Forgiveness is a perceptual makeover. Mary Dee Snow wow that is a great way of being Noel McInnis It's the way of being taught by ACIM. Mary Dee Snow I guess i never heard or thought of it that way Noel McInnis There's a consciousness within me that is aware of the way it works, and when I see my thinking and behavior from the perspective of that awareness, I can work my consciousness purposefully on behalf of forgiveness or anything else. Noel McInnis Just as forgiveness is evident by a feeling, so is unforgiveness evident by a feeling. I can choose not to feel unforgiving, unless that is the way I would rather feel. (And sometimes it is, at least for the time being.) Mary Dee Snow by just being conscious or mindful at all times you are able to be. once you make things over mindfully does it come back again or is the new perception permanent. Does it take a lot of practice, or does it slowly change? Noel McInnis The not so good news is that it never seems to go away. Unforgiveness is always ready to raise its ugliness. The very good news is that I no longer have to give power to its invitation. Mary Dee Snow I do the lessons daily some days better than others Noel McInnis It's about not indulging my unforgiveness, whether by acting on it or by resisting it. I just let it be, unreinforced by energy of direct attention or unforgiving action. Noel McInnis All of which requires continued practice. Noel McInnis The moment I'm not practicing forgiveness, I'm back to expressing unforgiveness. Mary Dee Snow ok so create that new way of perception and the rest follows Mary Dee Snow this is very powerful Noel McInnis Precisely. And making over my perceptions takes continued practice over time. Noel McInnis Another approach is to tell yourself frequently, day in and day out, "I intend to be less overly sensitive." Noel McInnis As soon as you feel that it is working you can add, "and so I AM less overly sensitive." Mary Dee Snow Ok I have alot of new tools to use and I am surrounded. By great support I am allowing to see things differently Noel McInnis The power of their use is always and only in their use. Again practice makes possible, and perfect practice makes perfect. Mary Dee Snow I am amazed at how things happen as soon as i ask it occurs Noel McInnis That means that the approach I've been suggesting will work wonders for you. Noel McInnis [Notice that it is not practice in itself that makes perfect, that only perfect practice makes perfect.] Mary Dee Snow I got that but i have trouble with perfectionism as I see it so i will now ask to see it differently Noel McInnis The Aramaic word that Jesus used when he said, "Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect," is literally translated as "all-inclusive" - hence, "Be ye all-inclusive, as your Father in heaven is all inclusive." Noel McInnis It's not about precision and accuracy of form, its about inclusivity of process. Mary Dee Snow Thats wonderful Thank you for everything. I have gotten alot out of this. I am going to have to sign off soon I ahve to go to work Noel McInnis When you surrender perfection of form and concern yourself with perfection of process - perfect practice - you will feel differently about everythinmg. Noel McInnis It's time for me to leave also. Stay in the grace! Mary Dee Snow That is awesome and well received Noel McInnis Thank you. I fully believe you when you say that. Mary Dee Snow Thanks Bye see you in class