As sometimes happens in this class, the "confessional" nature of some responses to the discussion questions, which some others of us (myself included) find delightful, does not suit students who have no intention or desire to "get personal" or are embarrassed by others' doing so. In response to a private e-mail I received from a student who chooses for this reason not to participate, I articulated the rationale for this course, which I am now likewise moved to share with all concerned.

I feel that to the extent self-disclosure is an issue for some members of this class, all members should have an opportunity to address the issue. Otherwise, we may tend to breed an unacknowledged elephant that may cloud our cyberspatial classroom at best and crowd some students out at worst.

I am therefore sharing with you all my response to a student who was courageous enough to state the case I have described. Since I do not presume that my response speaks for all who are concerned, this is my way of empowering us all to speak respectively for ourselves.

I wrote:

"I have no issue whatsoever with your assessment, since everyone is free to determine his/her own relationship to this course in the absence of the coercive carrot/stick of an assigned grade. And I truly regret that the course is not meeting your expectations.

"In response to your assessment, therefore, I merely wish to articulate my own perspectives as moderator of the course in accordance with its design and public description.

"In concert with the course’s designer, Dr. Luskin, I feel that the course materials supply all of the objective information on forgiveness that one can reasonably absorb in five weeks’ time. The discussions therefore concern themselves primarily with what one may do with the information these materials provide. 

"Accordingly, in the catalog description of the course reference is made to the expectations that “Students will address, on the basis of their course studies and their own experiences, such critical questions as … (etc.)”, and that students will among other things “discuss their personal perspectives on forgiveness.” 

"Similarly, in the course’s online SYLLABUS, its description begins with the sentence, “This course will explore the complex interplay between grievance and forgiveness at both the personal and the political levels,” and concludes with the statement “it is expected that students will explore the role of forgiveness in their own lives.”

"What is happening in the discussions is, therefore, well within the ballpark of the course’s stated expectations, with no obligation on anyone to be either more or less personal than s/he feels comfortable in being.

"Fortunately for the ultimate integrity of the student population at large, I have yet to see a statement of objectives for any course that fully matches the expectations of every student.

"In the meantime, and in terms of this course’s stated expectations, confession is good for the goal.

"In gratitude for and honor of your candid response to the course, I will post your statement anonymously, along with this response, so that the entire class will have the opportunity (should they take it) to further respond in turn."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
To the extent that my response triggers both alternative and supportive perspectives in others, I trust that these perspectives will be shared in yet further responses to this post.



Shedding light on forgiveness-lite

I appreciate your typification of forgiveness-lite as "seek[ing] relief from one's discomfort while holding firmly to the negative assessment that lies at the root of the discomfort." 

This is an excellent description of the underlying psychological syndrome that keeps us from forgiving, i.e., the have-it-both-ways syndrome of wanting to experience forgiveness while continuing to treasure blame.

Wishing to experience forgiveness while treasuring blame is the equivalent of being an alcoholic who goes to a treatment center with the request, not that his alcoholism be cured, but that it be made workable. 

Similarly, therapists encounter numerous clients whose initial objective is to have their neuroses repaired rather than relinquished.

Unforgiveness (i.e., treasuring blame) cannot be made to work, given that it is the equivalent of picking up a hot coal to throw at someone and continuing to hold onto it.

(I was moved to share this litany of obsurdities, of which your statement reminded me, because one way to become more forgiving is to starkly recognize the insanity of nurturing unforgiveness.)

ADD:

Your 'hot coals' metaphor reminds me of the definition of resentment: taking poison and expecting somebody else to die. The same could be said of unforgiveness.

(I also left out "doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result," which is AA's definition of insanity.)